So, last night was Senior Reflections, a night with student speakers, awards and performances to remember the past four years. Rachel Johnson (our Senior Class Coordinator) has done a great job all year, and this was another example. The show was fantastic. Rachel had asked me to speak about my four years of living on-campus, so I did. Below is my speech for those of you who weren’t able to make it:
Thank you Ben, thanks Janae. I also want to thank Bill [Robinson, our president] for publicly embarrassing my roommate of three years, Andrew Knapp. I am now going to embarrass the rest of my friends.
I’ve spent my four years at Whitworth in four different dorms: I was traditiated into Baldwin-Jenkins, moved to MacMillan Hall, and served as an RA in Stewart Hall and Arend Hall.
Some special things can happen when you live on a hall with 20 young men at Whitworth. These times are special because their grand spectacle, their mass stupidity, or sometimes a colossal combination of the two. At this point, it would be negligent of me to not mention an example. When we lived on the second floor of Mac, the dorm leadership put on an event in our hall called “Hall Slip-n-Slide.” Now, I know what you’re all thinking, and you’re right: This idea was as terrible as it sounds. The RAs from Mac 2nd and 3rd covered the hall in big blue tarps and then coated those with soybean oil and dish soap. We then stripped down to our skivvies (or less) and took turns running down the hall and sliding on our bellies. Jason Barnes ended up going to the hospital, Stefan Robinson probably should have gone, and Cory Marshall gave himself one fantastic nickname. He cut the sleeves off of a t-shirt, rolled them into a horn and taped it to his forehead. Then he turned the shirt inside-out and wrote, “I am the Sexy Unicorn” on it.
It isn’t just the occasional slip-n-slide that makes Whitworth’s dorm life great, though:
It’s waking up to the sound of your roommate sneaking back after hanging out with that freshman girl from the Village again.
It’s overwhelming the Dockside dessert restaurant at the Couer D’Alene Resort with about 60 Stewart Hall residents.
It’s staying in the HUB until 3:00 AM to change the “Quote of the Week” board so that it reads “Quote of the Year.” Yes, that was me. [Note: Alice was in on this one too]
It’s walking over to your professor’s office because you just need someone to talk to.
It’s building a snow fort outside Mac Hall, sleeping in it, and protecting it against 50 BJ freshmen in a snowball fight the week before finals.
It’s staying up until 4:00am in the Arend Basement with students from all four years, talking about the upcoming election.
It’s registering for the last spot in Intro to Sociology, and hearing Alex Nelson scream obscenities from down the hall in BJ because he was gunning for that last spot, too.
It’s saving money on gas and letting someone else cook for you for a couple more years.
It’s throwing cinder blocks at a TV during Carlson ManFest, an annual celebration of testosterone at its most stereotypical.
It’s having someone to say hi to when you walk into your dorm during Prime Time each night.
It’s going to your roommate’s senior recital, and looking around to see that ten of your friends are wearing their hall t-shirts – from two years ago.
It’s breaking a window in the Science Building by launching a water balloon from Stewart Hall.
I have the rest of my life to live off-campus, and I’m looking forward to it. But I’ll never forget the people I met, the number of mushrooms and onions I ate, and the conversations we had. College is a time to learn – about a major concentration, of course, but also about humanity. About how we live with other people, how we love, and how we are to act.
To conclude, I have to thank everyone who lived with me in these four amazing dorms – in BJ, Mac, Stewart or Arend. All of my hallmates, roommates, my two RA teams, and every other resident. Thank you. I may not be the Sexy Unicorn, but I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without all of you.